Dispatches From the Advertising World

Today, I had a scruff-up with Mortimer Graves – the near-sighted, narrow-minded Director of Creativeness at Bakenhaster, Von Tillzin & Saatchi. He has soundly rejected my latest masterwork for the Boston Garter - claiming certain certain segments of the community, namely the Hun segment, may take offense to it. I have electronically affixed it here as I believe public opinion will bear me out:


As you can see, this is the work of a true American Patriot! A nephew of Uncle Sam whose Yankee Doodle heart beats the rhythm our National Anthem! Who fought in the trenches, nose-to-nose with the Kaiser!

But his rebuffment doesn’t surprise me. See, Mr. Graves didn’t fight in the Great War. He claims that “he was 57 years old in 1917” and that made him “too old for combat.” I say not “too old” – I say too cowardly! Too cowardly to fight for Lady Liberty and too cowardly to run the bald eagle-riding, Liberty Bell-ringing, apple pie-eating copy of a true American Patriot!

AUTHOR’S SPECIAL NOTE: I also suspect him of being a Bolshevist.