Opinions of an Advertising Man

Today marks an anniversary of sorts: I have now been working for six months in the advertising trade. Currently, I am an employee of the advertising consortium Bakenhaster, Von Tillzin & Saatchi (who is, I suspect - an Italian).

We create advertisements for a great variety of products - including liver pills, chewing sweets, sock garters and gyro-sheath desk sets.

As my professional station gives my opinion the weight of authority, I thought I might weigh in on various advertisements I come across in my daily journeys.


This newspaper campaign for the Iver Johnson’s Arms & Cycle Works has done incalculable good for the American public. Here, Iver Johnson Revolvers begs the question (and I paraphrase here) that in this danger-fraught age of ever-increasing Irish immigration, shouldn’t we arm our children as well?

I say resoundingly: “Yes.” Should some frothing Irishman skulk into your child’s bedchambers in an attempt to kidnap them and cook them into some sort of stew with potatoes and cabbage and low-grade whiskey – wouldn’t you like your dearest one to be carrying a firearm that “shoots straight and kills” instead of a “toy”?